The Pied Piper of Crawford
Will lead our land to war.
The Pied Piper of Crawford,
Who's never fought before.
We're told it's time that we attack
The "evil" nation of Iraq,
We're all supposed to jump on board
While all our questions are ignored.
The Pied Piper of Crawford
May throw us all in jail
No justice from the Piper:
No counsel, trial, nor bail.
All damage is "collateral."
Our game plan unilateral.
We wave our flags, prepared to fight,
With no regard for wrong or right.
The Pied Piper of Crawford
Is luring us with lies
He'll make Hussein a martyr;
And a martyr never dies.
The propaganda sounds so pure.
We're going to make Iraq "secure"
With guns and bombs on foreign soil
And plots to plunder Arab oil.
The Pied Piper of Crawford
Has played on all our fears.
Let's all follow the piper
While freedom disappears.
We're told we need to use first strike
To take out leaders we don't like
So politicians wave their flags
Till kids come home in body bags
The Pied Piper of Crawford
Will lead our land to war.
The Pied Piper of Crawford,
Who's never fought before.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Plug For An Outlet Store
Chorus:
This is my plug¹ for an outlet store.
Being an outlet² , you'd think they'd charge³ more,
But my friend, I must confess,
Most of the outlet stores charge less.
The feeling's so electric⁴,
You're bound to get a buzz⁵
'Cause everything is current⁶.
That's what an outlet does.
You'd think they'd socket⁷ to you
And yet the shock⁸ is mild
But outlets just aren't where you go
To entertain your child.
Chorus
When dealing with an outlet,
You'd best go with the flow⁹.
Don't go against the main stream¹⁰
Or fuses start to blow¹¹.
The clothes are so revolting¹²;
One volt won't charge a store,
But that's why power strip malls¹³
Are grounded¹⁴ to one floor.
Chorus
It's natural with outlets
That energy is stored¹,
So if you want to make things work
It's good to have a chord.
To get a chain reaction
A contact must be made
There might be some resistance,
That could involve a trade.
Chorus
When checking out an outlet,
You might watch out for shorts,
They're so electrifying
And perfect for the courts.
Which gets to outlet casing,
Put simply, don't go steel.
It might appear a buzz for now,
But you won't like how you feel.
Endnotes:
¹ plug- 1) endorsement; 2) "a small plastic object with two or three metal pins which fit into the holes of an electric socket and connects the equipment to the electricity supply"
² outlet- 1) "a shop or organization which sells the goods made by a particular manufacturer;" 2) "a place, usually in a wall, where you can connect electrical devices to the electricity supply"
³ charge - 1) to "ask [someone] to pay [an] amount for something that you have sold to them or done for them;" 2) "to pass an electrical current through [something] in order to make it more powerful or to make it last longer"
⁴ electric- 1) when "people are in a state of great excitement;" 2) "used to refer to the supply of electricity"
⁵ buzz- 1) something that "makes you feel very happy or excited for a short time;" 2) "Vibrating sound or noise, hum, jolt (as in electricity)"
⁶ current - 1) "Belonging to the present time;" 2) "A flow of electric charge."
⁷ socket/ sock it- 1) "a device into which an electric plug can be inserted in order to make a connection in a circuit;" 2) "to make a forceful impression on," to let someone have it.
⁸ shock-
This is my plug¹ for an outlet store.
Being an outlet² , you'd think they'd charge³ more,
But my friend, I must confess,
Most of the outlet stores charge less.
The feeling's so electric⁴,
You're bound to get a buzz⁵
'Cause everything is current⁶.
That's what an outlet does.
You'd think they'd socket⁷ to you
And yet the shock⁸ is mild
But outlets just aren't where you go
To entertain your child.
Chorus
When dealing with an outlet,
You'd best go with the flow⁹.
Don't go against the main stream¹⁰
Or fuses start to blow¹¹.
The clothes are so revolting¹²;
One volt won't charge a store,
But that's why power strip malls¹³
Are grounded¹⁴ to one floor.
Chorus
It's natural with outlets
That energy is stored¹,
So if you want to make things work
It's good to have a chord.
To get a chain reaction
A contact must be made
There might be some resistance,
That could involve a trade.
Chorus
When checking out an outlet,
You might watch out for shorts,
They're so electrifying
And perfect for the courts.
Which gets to outlet casing,
Put simply, don't go steel.
It might appear a buzz for now,
But you won't like how you feel.
Endnotes:
¹ plug- 1) endorsement; 2) "a small plastic object with two or three metal pins which fit into the holes of an electric socket and connects the equipment to the electricity supply"
² outlet- 1) "a shop or organization which sells the goods made by a particular manufacturer;" 2) "a place, usually in a wall, where you can connect electrical devices to the electricity supply"
³ charge - 1) to "ask [someone] to pay [an] amount for something that you have sold to them or done for them;" 2) "to pass an electrical current through [something] in order to make it more powerful or to make it last longer"
⁴ electric- 1) when "people are in a state of great excitement;" 2) "used to refer to the supply of electricity"
⁵ buzz- 1) something that "makes you feel very happy or excited for a short time;" 2) "Vibrating sound or noise, hum, jolt (as in electricity)"
⁶ current - 1) "Belonging to the present time;" 2) "A flow of electric charge."
⁷ socket/ sock it- 1) "a device into which an electric plug can be inserted in order to make a connection in a circuit;" 2) "to make a forceful impression on," to let someone have it.
⁸ shock-
Thursday, February 11, 2010
All Is Fair in Love And War
All is fair in love and war.
Make a girl feel like a whore.
First you get her to invest,
Then you act like she's obsessed.
If you want to see extremes,
Have the girl reveal her dreams.
Then chat up another lass,
Buy her drinks and kiss her ass.
Chorus:
You never really liked her.
Now, what did she think?
You weren't exactly straight with her,
But that's not worth a stink.
She loved you, but so what?
Got a tattoo on her butt--
Heart and arrow with your name.
Only has herself to blame
Now you've got Girl 1 confused.
Once she's jealous, act amused.
Say she's grating on your nerves;
Give the girl what she deserves.
Just to add some extra fun,
Tell Girl 2 you love Girl 1.
Once they're squabbling and at war,
Then throw in Girls 3 and 4.
Chorus
Then to further stir the pot,
Show them all the ring you bought
For Girl 5, who you just met
Flirting on the internet.
Just to prove you're super nice,
Offer lots of free advice.
Once she's outraged and disgraced,
Tell Girl 1 she's been replaced.
Chorus
Copyright 2008-2010 Sheryl Zettner
Make a girl feel like a whore.
First you get her to invest,
Then you act like she's obsessed.
If you want to see extremes,
Have the girl reveal her dreams.
Then chat up another lass,
Buy her drinks and kiss her ass.
Chorus:
You never really liked her.
Now, what did she think?
You weren't exactly straight with her,
But that's not worth a stink.
She loved you, but so what?
Got a tattoo on her butt--
Heart and arrow with your name.
Only has herself to blame
Now you've got Girl 1 confused.
Once she's jealous, act amused.
Say she's grating on your nerves;
Give the girl what she deserves.
Just to add some extra fun,
Tell Girl 2 you love Girl 1.
Once they're squabbling and at war,
Then throw in Girls 3 and 4.
Chorus
Then to further stir the pot,
Show them all the ring you bought
For Girl 5, who you just met
Flirting on the internet.
Just to prove you're super nice,
Offer lots of free advice.
Once she's outraged and disgraced,
Tell Girl 1 she's been replaced.
Chorus
Copyright 2008-2010 Sheryl Zettner
Friday, July 25, 2008
Online Dating
Seeking a suitor at your computer,
One girl is smarter, another is cuter.
One guy is kinder, another is wiser;
One's a big spender, another's a miser.
One is a thinker, another's a looker.
One girl's so sleazy you'd think she's a hooker.
Chorus:
It’s online dating,
The newest form of mating.
The easy way to find a spouse.
Don’t even need to leave your house.
Just type a bit and click your mouse
To find the perfect match.
So many faces, so many chases.
So many people in so many places,
Yet John's too persistent and Bob's inconsistent,
Dave doesn't shave, and then Danny's too distant.
And then there's Eric who's way too generic.
Still, anyone's better than Daniel or Derek.
Chorus
So you compare them, torment and scare them
And if you don’t like them, you're not apt to spare them
You rank them and rate them and tease them and bait them,
Drag them through hell, then you don't even date them.
From Bob to Rob, or from Barbara to Alice,
So many people, you start to grow callous.
Chorus
After you score them, you start to ignore them.
If they are lucky, you already bore them.
You cautiously scan them, cold shoulder, then pan them
Send them invites to your sites till you ban them
...
...
Chorus
Some prospects hate you, some will sedate you
Some are just happy if they can debate you.
Some will affect you while some will reject you;
Misplace a comma, and some will correct you.
When they're annoying, or coy and flirtatious,
Just bite your tongue and pretend to be gracious.
Chorus
©2007-2008 Sheryl Zettner
One girl is smarter, another is cuter.
One guy is kinder, another is wiser;
One's a big spender, another's a miser.
One is a thinker, another's a looker.
One girl's so sleazy you'd think she's a hooker.
Chorus:
It’s online dating,
The newest form of mating.
The easy way to find a spouse.
Don’t even need to leave your house.
Just type a bit and click your mouse
To find the perfect match.
So many faces, so many chases.
So many people in so many places,
Yet John's too persistent and Bob's inconsistent,
Dave doesn't shave, and then Danny's too distant.
And then there's Eric who's way too generic.
Still, anyone's better than Daniel or Derek.
Chorus
So you compare them, torment and scare them
And if you don’t like them, you're not apt to spare them
You rank them and rate them and tease them and bait them,
Drag them through hell, then you don't even date them.
From Bob to Rob, or from Barbara to Alice,
So many people, you start to grow callous.
Chorus
After you score them, you start to ignore them.
If they are lucky, you already bore them.
You cautiously scan them, cold shoulder, then pan them
Send them invites to your sites till you ban them
...
...
Chorus
Some prospects hate you, some will sedate you
Some are just happy if they can debate you.
Some will affect you while some will reject you;
Misplace a comma, and some will correct you.
When they're annoying, or coy and flirtatious,
Just bite your tongue and pretend to be gracious.
Chorus
©2007-2008 Sheryl Zettner
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